Looking for Love in College

By Karolyn Castaldo on March 30, 2012

So, you met that perfect person at the bar last night and you both fell madly in love? Or you talked to the cute guy or girl who was pumping the keg at the party you went to? They’re the one, right? Wrong. The truth is that while most people think that they could find love on a night out drinking, that’s not necessarily the case.

Think of the last time you went out. Everyone was fairly drunk and you probably didn’t have any sort of intelligent conversations. Maybe you talked for a while with one person, but when you didn’t express interest in going home with them, they probably went to find someone else. What most people don’t realize is that there’s almost never an opportunity to really learn a lot about a person when you both are drunk: between the loud music, crowded rooms, and obviously, the intoxication, it’s nearly impossible to make the kind of connection that isn’t entirely charged by sexual attraction.

Photo from Flickr.com by tibchris

You may be wondering where to meet someone in college if it’s not when you’re out. The answer is: lots of places. How about the cute guy that sits next to you in one of your major classes? Or the girl that’s always at the gym at the same time as you? The classroom and the gym are interesting places to meet people because by being there, it means that you obviously have a shared interest in common. In class, it’s easy to start a conversation with small talk because you are both going through the same exams, lectures and essays. From there, who knows where it could go? At the gym, no one is looking their absolute best, so approaching someone becomes increasingly easier to do and you are less likely to be nervous about striking up a conversation about that technique she’s using to lift weights.

Another good place to meet someone is at work. Whether you have a work study job on campus or a part time job somewhere else, take time to get to know your coworkers. Generally, there are people around your age with similar interests as you. Plus, you’re both stuck at work for an extended amount of time, so why not start a conversation. Even if the person doesn’t seem like your type, it’s at least worth it to have someone there to pass the time with at work, even if it might not be love.

If you wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable being that forward with someone from class, the gym, or work, try joining a club or intramural sports team. Generally, clubs and intramurals form great relationships because of the time spent doing an activity that you all enjoy. Even if you don’t find your soulmate, it’s an awesome opportunity to make some new friends too. You’ll also meet many new people simply through the friends you’ve made in the club or on the team.

Lastly, stop trying so hard. If you always go out into the world with the intention of finding love, you may look right past it. Participate in activities you love, take classes that make you think, and make the best of the situations that you don’t think you’ll enjoy. Who knows who will walk in the door?  Being yourself in an atmosphere that shows the real you will increase your chances of love coming your way, especially if you’re not actively searching.

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